I remember a time, when I was young, I was ambitious and I thought the way to happiness would be through "success". If I worked hard, became really good at my job, got promoted, eventually I would be happy. I would have reached "the top", I'd be responsible, revered, earning a good salary, drive a nice car, be well traveled and have a lovely house in a nice area.
But other plans were afoot. I became hungry for roots. I wanted to feel secure. I needed to belong. After travelling overseas for some time, having my heart broken over and over, feeling lost and somewhat lonely, having had an adventure, I was ready for some stability I suppose.
That's when it all fell into place. I met my husband; soon afterwards I was pregnant, then married, then a mother. All in the short span of 12 months. The rapid evolution from free-spirit to mother/wife/housewife left me reeling, but it is exactly what my body and spirit had been craving.
And now, here I am, 22 years later, realising that nothing makes me happier than that sense of belonging and the love that fills my life. I am a mother of five and because of that my cup runneth over with love. What's not to love about that?
I am continually surprised by the comments made by so many about how hard, exhausting, financially draining it must be to have a large brood. But I know that having a large family equals a whole lot of love in my life.
My little boy got up this morning, pattered into the kitchen to take me back to his bed,
"You need to cuddle me in bed mama". Yes, I did need to, and I didn't even know!
Success nowadays means being happy. Being happy no longer depends on being successful. I don't care that I didn't reach the top of my profession (and never will), and I don't care that I don't earn squillions.
I have a big fat account filled with love,family,friends and belonging. Who needs more?